The bottom line is always how the offended parties are hearing it. That was my point. I know people who would argue that 'Jew' is never a derogative term, despite all the evidence of antisemitism. It simply doesn't appear in their circles.

I cannot see what would offend anyone in 'cis' (apart from the unfamiliarity in being defined by a term), but I *have* heard it used in a derogative way. Only by two people, though, which is why I assumed idiolect. I was silenced by one of them and the reason given was because I was cis and therefore had no speech rights in that space. This is the same reasoning I was given the other day, and also the same reasoning I am given for being silenced in so many places for being Jewish and female. These things are not all the same! They just look a bit the same.

This means I'm really aware that, when people fret about a term and they're not in the same group as me, the possibility of real concerns has to be investigated. I'm not saying it isn't neutral - I'm saying it is neutral for me but it concerns me that you're hearing people who think otherwise. I'd want to know from them, why.