The Little Boy Lost
Aug. 3rd, 2026 02:19 pmFather, father, where are you going
O do not walk so fast.
Speak father, speak to your little boy
Or else I shall be lost,
The night was dark no father was there
The child was wet with dew.
The mire was deep, & the child did weep
And away the vapour flew.
Blake's songs have been much on my mind lately. Perhaps that affects that way I read this letter from Weeden III to his father, written from 9-12th February 1822.
Weeden at this time is 15 years old and away at Harrow. He is not entirely cut off from his family: his uncle, Dr George Butler, is the headmaster, and his grandfather lives an hour's walk away in Stanmore. However, back in Chelsea his mother Annabella is on her sick bed, and within two days of this letter would be dead (which is why, perhaps, it appears never to have been sent). Weeden is worried about her, of course, but also about his father's state of mind. Meanwhile, he has his own studies to think about, with a big test coming up.
That's the main context, but there's another side to Weeden's personality, which is that he is a would-be Boswell to his family, collecting anedcotes, copying momumental insriptions, and of course preserving letters - which is one reason I'm able to write these entries. His grandfather, almost eighty years old and showing signs of forgetfulness, is not only a venerable relation, but the site of a biographical rescue dig, and Weeden jots down his confidences, knowing that his chances to do so will be few.
I've produced this one in full, because even the inconsequential topics speak eloquently of Weeden's state of mind: "I do not know how it is, my Mother is most in my thoughts, & yet I cannot find how to say or ask anything about her."
O do not walk so fast.
Speak father, speak to your little boy
Or else I shall be lost,
The night was dark no father was there
The child was wet with dew.
The mire was deep, & the child did weep
And away the vapour flew.
Blake's songs have been much on my mind lately. Perhaps that affects that way I read this letter from Weeden III to his father, written from 9-12th February 1822.
Weeden at this time is 15 years old and away at Harrow. He is not entirely cut off from his family: his uncle, Dr George Butler, is the headmaster, and his grandfather lives an hour's walk away in Stanmore. However, back in Chelsea his mother Annabella is on her sick bed, and within two days of this letter would be dead (which is why, perhaps, it appears never to have been sent). Weeden is worried about her, of course, but also about his father's state of mind. Meanwhile, he has his own studies to think about, with a big test coming up.
That's the main context, but there's another side to Weeden's personality, which is that he is a would-be Boswell to his family, collecting anedcotes, copying momumental insriptions, and of course preserving letters - which is one reason I'm able to write these entries. His grandfather, almost eighty years old and showing signs of forgetfulness, is not only a venerable relation, but the site of a biographical rescue dig, and Weeden jots down his confidences, knowing that his chances to do so will be few.
My Dear Father,
I have begun thus early to write to you on account of having been this evening to see my Grandpapa, by his particular desire: he said it did him good to see me, and among the first questions he asked me how my dear mother’s health was. This, he said, was his greatest care now on earth, & the good old man seemed very much affected as he spoke about her. He said he had a great regard for her, and that he had found that all who knew her felt the same esteem for her, & that he was certain she bore her trials like a Christian. He asked how old Anne was, and the names of all your children, and said, he wished to be remembered to all his friends who asked after him. He particularly asked about Tom, & whether he had not black eyes, & said Tom had often received hearty smacks on the face from him, which he was very glad to receive. Talking about the Gibernes, he said, Mr Giberne was name Mark after Bp. Hildesley, whose life Grandpapa wrote, & added that I might have one copy, & Tom another, of that work. They are up in the cupboard where my books are,--but that will do at the Easter Holydays. He seemed to be in very good spirits, & while I was there in his room read some small print very well, & on the maid’s coming into the room to ask whether he wanted more coals to his fire, he told her in his old good-humoured way, to “get along about her business,” and then asked whether that was not something like my old Grandpapa. He asked after Mr Oswald, as I suppose he had heard of his being at our house. He said he wanted but a few months of fourscore years, & that the Scriptures were verified in him, that then life is but labour & sorrow, & talked in a very Christian-like manner about the end of all worldly things. He also said that Dr Butler had been very kind to him, & often repeated that the sight of me did him good, & that he should be glad to see me whenever I could come, & that he hoped all were well at Chelsea beside my dear dear mother. He said he was glad to hear a good account of me, & alluded to what he seemed to consider as one of his greatest glories, viz. that of being the father of Dr Butler, Sen. Wrangler at Cambridge, & Head Master of Harrow. He said, that he did not consider you had a fair chance, as you had been very ill the two or three first years you began to learn, but Dr Butler had been “like a Giant.” ------
I was very sorry, my dear father, to hear from Nelly that Mamma was so ill—but God’s will be done. I thank both you & her for your good wishes towards me, & hope I shall do my duty. Tomorrow, as every Sunday here is, will be a day of rest to me I think. I wish you would take Tom or one of the Giberne’s with you on your solitary Sunday Night’s walk. I often think of that, & wish I were there with you to accompany you. – I often take a walk for exercise, & I think it good for my health. I should like when I come home at Easter to bring my books along with me, to study at home. I hope you won’t think, by my mentioning the Holidays so often that I am impatient to come home. I send my love to my dear mother & you my father, & to all my brothers & sisters, & particularly to Anne, & my kind respects to Mrs Read, & all other friends. I find a good deal of pleasure in writing home to you.
Sunday Night. –We have been twice to Church today, as usual. I find it one of my greatest comforts here, as also to pray for all my dearest relations in my prayers night and morning. There is nothing at present, I assure you that I am in want of. I beg you will give my kind love to Miss Gardner when you see her. My dear Uncle told me this morning that I might go occasionally to see my Grandfather, as he said the sight of me cheered him. –I have just finished doing a map, to be shown up tomorrow. It’s the ??? of Spain & Portugal, out of Guthrie. – I do not know how it is, my Mother is most in my thoughts, & yet I cannot find how to say or ask anything about her. I have been walking a good deal to day.
Tuesday. I saw my dear Grandfather again today, & he gave me 5 shillings. He again enquired about Mamma. There is a report here that we are to be tried in a fortnight.
Tuesday evening.
I have just come from a visit to my Grandpapa. He has been having a blister put on by the advice of his friends. Talked very feelingly about my dear mother; he said, that he would defy the world to produce a woman who had behaved so well, & done her duty toward her father & mother better than she had. He said, he had her daily in his thoughts, & that he knew she was patient & resigned under her afflictions. He seemed to like talking upon old subjects, & said that if Archdeacon Pott lived, & the king lived, he foretold that Archdeacon Pott would become a bishop, & that I might see it although perhaps he should not. I believe Dr Butler has gone to town today. My Grandfather took me into Mrs Butler’s room and I saw her: she asked after Mamma, & all of my brothers & sisters. My Grandpapa said I had my mother’s smile in my face. –Today is a whole holiday. –I find there is plenty of time here to do everything that is required, which I did not think at first. My Grandfather walked up and downstairs today with me, to show me what he could do, & seemed to be in good spirits, & said, he should be glad to see me whenever I could come. I hope all the boys are come back, and that you will soon get an assistant to your liking. My Grandfather said that he had heard a very good account of Gordon, and particularly asked how tall he was, as he said he thought he would have been short. The boy’s name who said he knew H. Cotton, is Timpson. I hope you will forgive the jumble I put into my letters, I write just what comes uppermost.
I've produced this one in full, because even the inconsequential topics speak eloquently of Weeden's state of mind: "I do not know how it is, my Mother is most in my thoughts, & yet I cannot find how to say or ask anything about her."
















































































