Pumps of presumption shall adorn his feet, and socks of sullenness exceeding sweet
It's the blazon from hell! Unmitigated by satire! If you've never felt properly grateful that Petrarch lived so many centuries before Roget, you will after reading this modern classic (taken via
shark_hat).
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Of course it *can* work....
The Garmont of Gude Ladeis (Robert Henryson)
Waid my gud lady lufe me best
And wirk eftir my will,
I suld ane garmond gudliest
Gar mak hir body till.
Of hie honour suld be hir hud
Upon hir heid to weir,
Garneist with governance so gud,
Na demying suld her deir.
Hir sark suld be hir body nixt,
Of chestetie so quhyt,
With schame and dreid togidder mixt,
The same suld be perfyt.
Hir kirtill suld be of clene constance,
Lasit with lesum lufe,
The mailyeis of continuance
For nevir to remufe.
Hir gown suld be of gudliness,
Weill ribband with renowne,
Purfillit with plesour in ilk place,
Furrit with fyne fassoun.
Hir belt suld be of benignitie
About hir middill meit;
Hir mantill of humilitie
To tholl bayth wind and weit.
Hir hat suld be of fair having
And hir tepat of trewth,
Hir patelet of gud pansing,
Hir hals ribbane of rewth.
Hir slevis suld be of esperance
To keip hir fra dispair,
Hir gluvis of gud govirnance
To gyd hir fyngearis fair.
Hir schone suld be of sickernes,
In syne that scho nocht slyd,
Hir hois of honestie, I gess,
I suld for hir provyd.
Wald scho put on this garmond gay,
I durst sweir by my seill,
That scho woir nevir grene nor gray
That set hir half so weill.
Glossary:
GARNEIST: ornamented; DEMYNG: (harsh) opinion; DEIR: harm; DREID: timidity; LESUM: lawful; MAILYEIS: eyelets; CONTINUANCE: steadfastness; PURFILLIT: embroidered; FASSOUN: fashion; THOLL: endure; HAVING: deportment; TEPAT: tippet; PATALET: ruff; PANSING: thoughts; HALS: neck; REWTH: pity; SICKERNESS: sureness; SEILL: seal, bond
Re: Of course it *can* work....
Re: Of course it *can* work....
Re: Of course it *can* work....
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That is so bad it's brilliant.