Honours Thrust Upon Us

Well, it's been quite a year. First I discover I'm a rector of the Church of England, and now I find I've been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, even if (as is common with the Nobel) I'm having to share it. It's hard to say which moves me more, but the latter will certainly look better on my CV.

I've done the maths, and by my calculation (dividing the value of the Nobel prize by the population of the EU) I am due about one seventh of a penny. If I pool my money with the other people in my road, this means we can collectively buy a packet of crisps. But then the disputes begin, of course... Which flavour?

Ah, avaunt, you apple of Ate! This is just what the EU was designed to avoid!