Stick it up your yomper

[steepholm]

'It's impossible to underestimate the importance of survival training,' said Ray Mears yesterday, as a troupe of bedraggled yompers made their disconsolate way across Dartmoor in the rain. Of course, he meant the opposite - it's a common mistake. But the more easily that man makes fire from a sheep's turd and a wet stick, or weaves himself a thermal vest from his own naval fluff, the less confidence I have that I'd ever be able to do anything even faintly similar. So perhaps he's right: survival training has actually made me less competent. (I was watching from my sofa, of course - preferring the distance learning option.)

As for sphagnum moss! If I've been told how to use it as a battlefield dressing once I've been told a thousand times, but has the opportunity ever arisen? And I just know that if I did find myself next to a wounded soldier, that would be the one day I'd left the house without any moss. Of course, I could run and fetch some - dock leaves grow near nettles, so sphagnum ought to grow near battles - but something tells me it needs to be dried first, by which time it would be far, far too late.