At the Beep, Beep Off

[steepholm]

Some people hate voicemail, and I don't know why.

My daughter is one such. Despite having a voicemail greeting on her phone inviting callers to leave a message she makes a point of never listening to them, and feels that this is both normal and obviously justified behaviour. When asked why, she suggests something on the lines of voicemail being ridiculously cumbersome and time-consuming, making its use an antisocial imposition on the poor phone-owner. And so I suppose it is, if you have a vanishingly small amount of patience, in the same way that actually talking to people can be, but this hardly explains the totality or vehemence of her opposition.

If the message is a simple one, like "What time will you be home for dinner?" I'll normally text rather than leave a voicemail, knowing her preferences. But not all messages are that straightforward. What if I want to know her choice from a variety of menu options, and whether she'd like to bring a friend round and whether, if so, they're vegetarian, etc.? I could do that much more quickly as a voice message than via a text. Is it really unreasonable to do so - especially as replying in kind to such a text would be almost equally onerous?

I thought perhaps it was just my daughter and her immediate circle who felt this way, but when I recently spoke to a friend of mine in her mid-20s, I watched in surprise as her hands instinctively bunched into fists at the very mention of the V word. Like my daughter, she felt - she knew - that to use voicemail was to be commit a terrible faux pas. Worse, it was to be a terrible person.

How widespread is this antipathy, and what is the reason for it? Is it perhaps a generational thing? Any explanations gratefully received below.

Comments

[the_rck]

Huh. I'm almost fifty, and my main objection to voicemail is that Verizon sometimes doesn't deliver messages to me until they're weeks old. It's very disconcerting to get a message reminding me of a doctor appointment that happened two months ago.

[steepholm]

That would certainly be very frustrating, and a good reason for not using it. My provider delivers them within a couple of minutes at most, in my experience.

[cxcvi]

I listen to them, but I don't leave them. Phone calls are bloody terrifying enough already. Having to leave a message is just worse. This does mean that I have less to listen to, though, since I don't expect that people should leave messages for me.

That said, I'm of the opinion that if you really want to get a message to me, and if I actually want to hear from you, you have better options for contacting me than by calling me.

[steepholm]

if you really want to get a message to me, and if I actually want to hear from you, you have better options for contacting me than by calling me.

That will indeed be true for some people.

[lilliburlero]

(b.1978) Not one of nature's phone callers: I hated using the phone as a child and young teenager. I used to dream of letters that were as instant as a phone call, and private phones that other people couldn't overhear you using. E-mail and mobile phones became generally available just about as I'd managed to train myself into using the phone relatively unselfconsciously and without sounding like a bumbling idiot (people I knew but not very well were far worse than strangers: I had to prepare a script) because that's the way life is. Voicemails irritate me a bit because if I know I've missed a call, it's easier just to phone the person straight back than listen to an often rather rambly message (I've usually only missed it by a few minutes or seconds). But I do leave voicemails with people who leave them with me, who are mostly older. The antipathy among people younger than me seems almost universal.

[steepholm]

If I see that someone has left me a voicemail and I've just missed them then I too might call them back - if it's likely to be quicker overall. I don't think there's anything sacred about voicemail, but when the person's not picking up and a text is too unwieldy it's a reasonable option, is all I would claim!

[tree_and_leaf]

(b. 1981) I hate them. I have to use it because people I work with expect them, but I greatly dislike them for reasons I can't quite articulate. I know I find them a source of significant stress, though.

(Also, Lili's point about them being rambling and inefficient, particularly when you've only just missed answering the call applies. And hardly anyone seems to have the sense to repeat their phone number on answering machines, so you end up having to listen to them multiple times).

[jadelennox]

I have been so relieved by the texting generation's hatred of voicemail, because I have hated voicemail and answering machines since their inception, and now I am finally socially acceptable!

[steepholm]

Can you explain why? I don't think anyone loves voicemail, but 'hate' is a strong word!

[jadelennox]

Hmm. I would guess it's an unholy broth of introversion, social anxiety, and trouble parsing recorded voices; I dislike telephones as well.

[steepholm]

Ah, well I'm with you on not liking phones (and for the same reasons, or at least the first two - for me it's not recorded voices as such but voices coming out of a phone in any form that are hard to parse). As far as introversion's concerned, though, a voicemail may be preferable to a real-time conversation.

[hunningham]

I've seen this with, not so much voicemail, but just speaking on the phone at all. One of my niece's friends is almost phobic about it, and they all dislike it. Talking on the phone is something you have to learn and practice, and if you haven't, then difficult.

[steepholm]

Well, I'm not a great talker on phones either, I must admit - that is, it's not something I'd choose to do for fun. But I can make a dental appointment like a pro.

[hunningham]

Niece's friends could not do that. She had to phone letting agents "because you know how to and they might have an answer machine". And I'm thinking "bless!"